U Lied to Me… or Did U?

Published in the Majestic Gvng Energy Boost Collection

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There’s this reflex a lot of us have when a moment gets cloudy between us and someone else—when the vibe shifts, the words don’t hit right, or intentions don’t line up with our expectations.

We say to ourselves: “They lying.”

It’s a safety measure. A way to regain control in an otherwise confusing emotional moment.

But what if the lie isn’t external… what if it’s internal?

Let’s talk about perception.

Let’s talk about miscommunication.

Let’s talk about self-defense mechanisms masquerading as truth.

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📖 A Word on “Lie” — Etymology Check

The word lie comes from the Old English lēogan, meaning “to speak falsely, tell a falsehood.” But when we accuse someone of lying, especially emotionally, what we’re often doing is simplifying a complex interaction down to intent.

That’s dangerous.

Because in reality, intent and impact aren’t always the same.

Let’s also look at the word misunderstand.

It’s from Middle English mis- + understanden, meaning “to misunderstand or interpret incorrectly.” So even in the roots, it acknowledges it’s not always about malicious action—it could just be error. Perception. Emotional bias. Timing.

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🧠 Psychology Speaks

YouTube psychologists like Dr. Thema Bryant (a Black licensed clinical psychologist and author of Homecoming) have said that the stories we tell ourselves are often rooted in our trauma.

Sometimes when we think someone’s lying to us, what’s actually happening is:

• Our inner child is triggered.

• Our attachment style is panicking (especially if avoidant or anxious).

• We’re confusing not being understood with being misled.

• We’re trying to label something unclear so we don’t sit in discomfort.

In reality, clarity comes from curiosity, not assumption.

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⚖️ The Real: “You Think They Lied” Is a Self-Soothing Spell

Let’s call it what it is: calling someone a liar when they didn’t match our expectations is a spell.

A temporary salve.

It makes us feel righteous, but not healed.

Why? Because healing requires us to take the medicine we’re always prescribing others:

Self-awareness. Emotional regulation. Communication. Accountability.

If you think they lied, ask urself:

“Did I listen to understand?

Did I project a meaning they never gave me?

Did I make room for their way of seeing life?”

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🕯️ Spiritual Take: The Medicine U Skip Still Waits for U

Unprocessed thoughts are like unhealed wounds.

If ur mind always thinks people are lying or hiding things—it’s time to check what you’re hiding from urself.

Sometimes the lie isn’t theirs.

It’s the story you created so you didn’t have to do the hard work of internal clarity.

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🌐 Cultural Notes: Communication Styles Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

Psychologists and educators like Dr. Joy Harden Bradford from Therapy for Black Girls remind us that Black and diasporic communication is layered. We don’t always speak plainly.

We speak in rhythm, emotion, code-switching, silence, and symbol.

If you misunderstand someone’s cultural tone or timing, it’s not always because they lied.

It’s because you need a new literacy.

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🧬 Final Gem: Closed Hands Can’t Receive

When you hold tight to a narrative, ur hands are closed.

And closed hands can’t receive clarity.

They can’t receive love.

They can’t even hold a mirror.

So let that story go.

Open ur hand.

Let the truth flow in naturally instead of forcing it through emotional fists.

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📖 Read the full Dispatch now in the Energy Boost Collection.

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